Sydney is the name my mother wanted to call me, because her pen pals and my godparents, Babs and Henry Foster, whom I never met but who sent me a koala bear fur purse and an Aboriginal doll named Bindi and postcards galore that I tore the stamps off of, lived in Sydney, Australia. The Catholic Church said no, no to Sydney, somebody from the village St. Denis, which is really Dionysis, one of two children Zeus had with mortal women. Mom had it all lined up for me to have a man named Art Hyco who had a German shepherd named Mozart to be the godfather at my baptism. But he was divorced so the Catholic Church said, no, no, to that, too and so I got Babs and Henry. Mamma caved in to the pressure, ran down to the courthouse and at the last minute changed the birth certificate from Sydney Patricia Straub to Patricia Sydney Straub. Patricia was the secretary at my father's work.
My mother called me Sparky and everybody else called me Patti, which rhymes with fatty. I hated it. I wonder if Queen Victoria's granddaughter got that treatment. She brought about the Patricia fad. Patricia is long dead.
My mother's name was Agnes. She hated it. She said the Ag rhymed with hag and bag and sag. She changed it to Ann. In Czech, her mother's name was Milada, but they changed it to Mildred. My mother hated it, too. She said it sounded like mildew. Milada's maiden name was Hochman, and from her Mom said she and my younger sister Jeanie get her big titties.
My mother's maiden name was Tichacek. She hated that name because it sounded like a train chugging on tracks the way it was pronounced Tick-a-check, Tick-a-check, Tick-a-check. Our great uncle Tichacek was from Bohemia and was a Wagnerian opera singer. I got his loud voice and it got me on the cheerleading team in the tenth grade.
My oldest sister's name was Nancy. When she became a Hare Krsna devotee she was given the name Narada. Narada was a great sage. Born of Brahma.
My brother's name is Albert. I'm sure he always hated his name, especially when my mother called him Albert Billy, because she really wanted him to be named William. Albert was named after my father, Albert Edward Louis Straub. His mother's maiden name was Haringhuizen. In Dutch it means house of the herrings.
Straub is Swiss-German. Means bushy-haired thief. It rhymes with slob and snob. I hated it. Solis is a Hispanic surname with roots to the sun goddess Sulis of Great Britain. After my husband died, I thought what name to keep. Sun Goddess Sulis, or bushy haired thief. I stuck with Solis.
I changed my name back to Sydney after working at a small newspaper where there were already too many combinations of Pattis, Pats and Patricias.
My youngest sister Jeanie said she wanted to change her name because every girl in the family did. Bistricky, she picked, after our great-grandmother in old Bohemia. I saw Marie Bistricky's black-and-white picture in stern folk costume, white scarf over her hair, hard mouth clenched tight. I said, I'm sure she would hate it.
My mother called me Sparky and everybody else called me Patti, which rhymes with fatty. I hated it. I wonder if Queen Victoria's granddaughter got that treatment. She brought about the Patricia fad. Patricia is long dead.
My mother's name was Agnes. She hated it. She said the Ag rhymed with hag and bag and sag. She changed it to Ann. In Czech, her mother's name was Milada, but they changed it to Mildred. My mother hated it, too. She said it sounded like mildew. Milada's maiden name was Hochman, and from her Mom said she and my younger sister Jeanie get her big titties.
My mother's maiden name was Tichacek. She hated that name because it sounded like a train chugging on tracks the way it was pronounced Tick-a-check, Tick-a-check, Tick-a-check. Our great uncle Tichacek was from Bohemia and was a Wagnerian opera singer. I got his loud voice and it got me on the cheerleading team in the tenth grade.
My oldest sister's name was Nancy. When she became a Hare Krsna devotee she was given the name Narada. Narada was a great sage. Born of Brahma.
My brother's name is Albert. I'm sure he always hated his name, especially when my mother called him Albert Billy, because she really wanted him to be named William. Albert was named after my father, Albert Edward Louis Straub. His mother's maiden name was Haringhuizen. In Dutch it means house of the herrings.
Straub is Swiss-German. Means bushy-haired thief. It rhymes with slob and snob. I hated it. Solis is a Hispanic surname with roots to the sun goddess Sulis of Great Britain. After my husband died, I thought what name to keep. Sun Goddess Sulis, or bushy haired thief. I stuck with Solis.
I changed my name back to Sydney after working at a small newspaper where there were already too many combinations of Pattis, Pats and Patricias.
My youngest sister Jeanie said she wanted to change her name because every girl in the family did. Bistricky, she picked, after our great-grandmother in old Bohemia. I saw Marie Bistricky's black-and-white picture in stern folk costume, white scarf over her hair, hard mouth clenched tight. I said, I'm sure she would hate it.
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