I have one month left of a double Saturn in my Vedic astrology chat. Indeed this has been the last six months of hell. Only by remaining in the transcendent when things get me tough and an occasional bottle of wine and other fun things do I survive! It's by sheer strength and determination, the products of yoga.
I woke up in the middle of the nigh again, worrying about Speer, but once morning comes and I have my daily walk in nature, my heart guides me once again to surrender and choose, knowing that whatever I choose, it's the right choice, because it's my choice. I can deal with anything that comes of it because I am strong and courageous. Yoga and meditation keep me that way. And after being at the bottom several times, you find out that there's a comfort there, a grounding in your being, so you're not afraid any more. In fact people should stop hoarding money for their retirement and just become a wandering sadhu. It is much more liberating that way! And it's very powerful to live in that kind of faith. And that's what I have found, my faith. I definitely believe in a serpentine-representing power of the cosmos, and that I am a part of that power and cosmos. I walk and see the awe of this world and reality around me. My body, my children, the sound of birds, and yet also connect to this deep, unspoken song that holds me in its arms.
My lawyer told me that there would be no contempt of court hearing because Justin has supposedly cured some of the default, although it's probably a lie because that is how he functions. He stalls and stalls and leads you on with lies until it comes back to him again and he has to deal with it again with lies and broken promises. And he wonders why it lingers! My lawyer used the power of words to put his hooks in him and make him look in the mirror. I think justice was served that way to Justin, even if he didn't get contempt of court. Actually it was postponed, because Justin has piled on more debt for himself. Thank God I am out of that mindset. And I don't even want to think about it anymore, because that's an awful vibration, not something the Queen of Bohemia gives any of her power and attention to. I'd rather think about starting women's collectives, in which single and widowed mothers with children can live together and raise their children together and get lots of support. I was heart-broken, truly sickened today by the sad story in the paper about this woman in Albuquerque who had suffocated her 3-year-old son, resuscitated him after a change of heart, only to change her mind again and finish the job. She buried him in the sand at the playground, where he was found three days later. She was walking to turn herself in, but they stopped her before she got there. She said she didn't want him to suffer from not being loved and cared for, like she had not been loved or cared for growing up. The symbolism of this woman murdering her child on a playground screams loudly about how our society does not care for its women and children, so they must resort to infanticide. It's symbolic of our mindset in general, as the world sinks in economic depression from corruption, greed and violence. The feminine and life are not valued in our culture, so it is murdered and buried on the site of what is to be inspirational and a bed of creation and life and joy.
My heart goes out to that woman and her son. I know how incredibly difficult it is to raise a child alone. And the strain of economic uncertainty can take its toll on everybody. And the loneliness and isolation is about as abnormal as you can get, a product of our modern society. Alienated from each other, we seek community and connection to help us with life's biggest challenges, such as raising children. We should be pro life in the sense that we care for the living children and their mothers in this country and the world, supporting financially by expanding social security to women and their children. And those who scoff at not supporting people on the dole, where have you scuttled your assets off shore, failed to pay taxes or cooked the books. Truly we need to move toward a compassionate society, no matter what the costs, because the results of not making the world safe for women and children are hideous.
And then today I had this scuttle with my sister who is a librarian and a heroin addict, or she's on methadone or something. And her boyfriend is in jail for drugs, but that is another story! I just breathe! And I don't respond to her upset letters. The Queen of Bohemia does not engage in such low energies but she sends her love and reticence instead.
I woke up in the middle of the nigh again, worrying about Speer, but once morning comes and I have my daily walk in nature, my heart guides me once again to surrender and choose, knowing that whatever I choose, it's the right choice, because it's my choice. I can deal with anything that comes of it because I am strong and courageous. Yoga and meditation keep me that way. And after being at the bottom several times, you find out that there's a comfort there, a grounding in your being, so you're not afraid any more. In fact people should stop hoarding money for their retirement and just become a wandering sadhu. It is much more liberating that way! And it's very powerful to live in that kind of faith. And that's what I have found, my faith. I definitely believe in a serpentine-representing power of the cosmos, and that I am a part of that power and cosmos. I walk and see the awe of this world and reality around me. My body, my children, the sound of birds, and yet also connect to this deep, unspoken song that holds me in its arms.
My lawyer told me that there would be no contempt of court hearing because Justin has supposedly cured some of the default, although it's probably a lie because that is how he functions. He stalls and stalls and leads you on with lies until it comes back to him again and he has to deal with it again with lies and broken promises. And he wonders why it lingers! My lawyer used the power of words to put his hooks in him and make him look in the mirror. I think justice was served that way to Justin, even if he didn't get contempt of court. Actually it was postponed, because Justin has piled on more debt for himself. Thank God I am out of that mindset. And I don't even want to think about it anymore, because that's an awful vibration, not something the Queen of Bohemia gives any of her power and attention to. I'd rather think about starting women's collectives, in which single and widowed mothers with children can live together and raise their children together and get lots of support. I was heart-broken, truly sickened today by the sad story in the paper about this woman in Albuquerque who had suffocated her 3-year-old son, resuscitated him after a change of heart, only to change her mind again and finish the job. She buried him in the sand at the playground, where he was found three days later. She was walking to turn herself in, but they stopped her before she got there. She said she didn't want him to suffer from not being loved and cared for, like she had not been loved or cared for growing up. The symbolism of this woman murdering her child on a playground screams loudly about how our society does not care for its women and children, so they must resort to infanticide. It's symbolic of our mindset in general, as the world sinks in economic depression from corruption, greed and violence. The feminine and life are not valued in our culture, so it is murdered and buried on the site of what is to be inspirational and a bed of creation and life and joy.
My heart goes out to that woman and her son. I know how incredibly difficult it is to raise a child alone. And the strain of economic uncertainty can take its toll on everybody. And the loneliness and isolation is about as abnormal as you can get, a product of our modern society. Alienated from each other, we seek community and connection to help us with life's biggest challenges, such as raising children. We should be pro life in the sense that we care for the living children and their mothers in this country and the world, supporting financially by expanding social security to women and their children. And those who scoff at not supporting people on the dole, where have you scuttled your assets off shore, failed to pay taxes or cooked the books. Truly we need to move toward a compassionate society, no matter what the costs, because the results of not making the world safe for women and children are hideous.
And then today I had this scuttle with my sister who is a librarian and a heroin addict, or she's on methadone or something. And her boyfriend is in jail for drugs, but that is another story! I just breathe! And I don't respond to her upset letters. The Queen of Bohemia does not engage in such low energies but she sends her love and reticence instead.
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