Glory Days

It has been a glorious day. I love living my bliss as I get to teach what I love: Storytelling and Yoga. And what's more is that I get to do it in the name of children.
You really do get what you think about. Your thoughts are projecting creation into the fourth dimension, in which you just need catching up to. So you'd better think positive and get clear of any negative slug dwelling. Those dark places really do pull you down. So get positive!
I've realized how much I blink my eyes when speaking. Have to check our which vayu that is, the one that governs blinking, burping, sneezing. Checked the web just now and couldn't get a consistent answer!
But Breathe is really the key to so much.

It is the end of another day of a great training in the Storytime Yoga method. Today attendees gathered with me at the glorious Samadhi Yoga in Denver to shift paradigms in experiencing life and teaching yoga by utilizing the power of story.

I’m always thrilled to do these trainings because it always involved like-minded people. I call them my “tribe.” Those who are instinctualy drawn to the depths where story and myth and yoga take us. To that mysterious realm that involves digging deeply into dark regions, only to find out that there is where the light is. And that darkness and light is what makes us whole.

What’s even more thrilling is knowing that these yogic storytellers are taking it upon themselves to use the power as a storyteller/yoga teacher/shaman/minister/healer to go out and use the high art form of oral storytelling to teach children. And children are our priority. We speak for those who do not have a voice. We are all about educating, healing, helping and making the world safe for children (and the women who care for them and never give up on them.)

Today we discussed the method and teaching babies through elementary! As well as learned the art of storytelling. People are always amazed at how much their creativity comes alive through this process. And the fun they have. Play is therapy!

Tomorrow we will focus on relaxation and meditation and its role in assisting children with anxiety, ADD and ADHD, as well as how to use stories for peace and character education. We will also explore story and yoga as a medicine for helping depression and trauma and preventing suicide by creating personal fairy tales and body myths and utilizing the power of personal story for healing and building community.

There is always more info than I can possibly pack into these trainings, which is why I am seriously considering making Storytime Yoga into a 200-hour children’s yoga teacher training and register it with Yoga Alliance.

Hope to see you at a training one day!

Of Rainbows and returning to the Core

In Mythic Yoga, I have become aware of my breath and my core of late. Listening deeply to the body, I am uncovering the root of some fears. That nausea I wake up with - no - not pregnancy! Just the stress of my ex having the house being foreclosed on and realizing that I may never get paid and that may lead me to bankruptcy. And the fact that my son needs CAT scans of both his feet, which cost, at a 50% discount for having crappy insurance, I kid you not. $2,500, plus the orthotics will be around $500 and my daughter has an auditory learning disability, and twice-a-week tutoring is $635 a month. Overwhelming? Yes, absolutely. Especially since I'm a single, widowed mother and I don't have another adult to rely on or confide in. But there is a magic key to all this - Yoga. My dear friend and League of Yogic Storyteller member, Kathy, told me, "You are living proof and continually demonstrating that this stuff works!"
Yes, I haven't freaked out too bad, run away, killed myself or anything. I'm just present. I've returned to a more intense yoga practice, drawing back into the core of my body, that third chakra area, building up strength and reliance on the Self. Warrior poses, even Warrior III. Half moon pose, half moon pose with a twist. side angle poses. I want to sweat, move, return to the creator and realize all fear is from the ego mind. Don't forget (and of course I do!) But you return to the core.
And then there is the breath. Always returning to the breath. It's truly relaxing. So Hum. I swear that mantra shuts off any fear and negativity and calms me instantly. The body truly is a container of safety when you open up to it and have a relationship with it. The miracle of doing yoga and contemplating one's story and issues and symbols is truly amazing, the premise of Mythic Yoga. I did boat pose, a wonderful third chakra pose, and the flash of insight came to me that "I am my own Lifeboat." Surely it's true that the Self and Source never leaves you. You are never truly alone. There's that Christian story of about how the footprints in the sand, and then there are none, "Because I carried you."
I very calmly and lovingly worked with my daughter on her homework last night. It's scary how far behind she is as she enters the fourth grade. My son is loving middle school and is self-sufficient there, and I gladly edit his writing and teach him that way. I loved making them breakfast, getting them ready and then walking my daughter with our little dog in the parade of the neighborhood each day to school. I wonder if truly, all trauma is a gift: It forces you to be intensely present. What else is there? No more comfy idleness that allows you to wander into the past or the future. With that, I take great comfort in writing this, working on my own Mythic Yoga, building my core, and finding a beautiful rainbow yesterday outside. As the most amazing thing happened, in that there was an email glitch and I wasn't receiving emails inquiring about my work! And there were lots of them! So despite some intense obstacles, I always prevail. Why? Because I have yoga, meditation, and the ability to tell my story.
AMEN

The Snake in the Path

A few days ago I was walking with my little dog, Sergeant Pepe. I walk in open space in the lovely foothills here in Boulder, and it’s definitely the closest thing I get to a church. Nature is God revealed in silent poetry of endless life quivering in creation.
However, my mind did get the best of me, endlessly negative about fears of this and that. I can shake myself of it a lot. But other times it’s like a grip of dreaded rot, that clings to my heart and body and mind like a sludge of tar.
On the way back from this beautiful place, Pepe got upset. Sure enough, he warned me of what lay in the path ahead of me. A snake! Huge, fat, coiled up and smack in the middle of the path! I was taken aback and backed up. Was it a rattlesnake? I was not sure. All I knew is that of all the wild creatures who have crossed my paths in life – bears, coyotes, wild turkeys – those little celestial visitors of nature that cause time to pause and celebrate – never had I encountered such a large snake! Of course I have encountered the garden kind and even collected their skin that I found stuck within the tentacles of a French strawberry patch, amazed at the gossamer skin left behind for a new life. But this was different!
I thought, what do I do? Call 911? A snake! Help! Barb wire fence was to one side, the other side of the path was tall grass and I thought, is its companion there too? I was confronted with the fact that I could only do what I could in the moment, and that was to just stand there. I was fiercely present. What was I to do? I breathed, waited and watched. Eventually, it slithered away slowly, and Pepe and I approached and I gathered the courage to watch this mythic creature slowly disappear in the tall grass nonchalant, as if it had no idea it was blocking my path at all. And there it was that this creature of the eternal cycle taught me a powerful lesson. Deal with only what is real and in front of your path! All my fears that can sometimes awaken me early in the morning to vomiting, is just a phantom, unreal, a busy mind that hasn’t been meditating enough! This powerful symbol of the cycles of life, tell me that the river is always flowing, slithering in fact, through life. It is this way and it is that way. It reminds me of the story of the Fabric of Life, Hindu. I will tell that story next for the You Tube. Maya. It can reveal, or it can obscure. The snake revealed something for me. The eternal, and that is where I need to rest and identify, rather than the tremulous mind.

Of course, life keeps finding it necessary to dish out difficulty for me. Lately I had finally let go the last drop of rage I had at my ex, Justin, regarding the lies and mess of the real estate shenanigans he got me into, as well as looting my widow’s fund from my late husband. I finally got over it and saw the part of him that I fell in love with – funny, liberal, artistic, hard working. But there was always some hidden dishonesty about him that betrayed my heart and trust. It was very painful. But I confronted my part – rage, oversensitivity to his children’s problems, RAGE at betrayal. I seem justified! Yet somehow I seem ashamed, but maybe I was just Kali protecting my young. Anyway, we had a nice heart-to-heart last night. It was very sad, and I had been grieving greatly the loss of my marriage and security – to see the house again. This house that I was promised if I put up the funds to finish it. The place where my children rode their bikes to the local school and my daughter trotted a little path each day to play with her best friend next door, Leroy. The two years of living in a half-finished house, nickle and dimeing my assets only to be pressured into selling it to pay off his debts, and which I refused, and finally, having lost all trust in him, divorced.

So this morning I got an urgent message. I must talk to you and come clear on some lies and what’s really happening, he said. He came over to my house and told me that the 31st street house was foreclosed on. The sale happened last Wednesday. I was in shock. Dumbfounded. He cried. I felt sorry for him. I had always urged him to declare bankruptcy rather than use me to pay off his debts, but he refused. Now it is revealed that he could have declared it, got rid of his debt, and kept the house. What loss. What eternal loss. The snake showed us, just like Buddhism’s first tenant, that all is continual sorrowful loss. Later it occurred to me that he was lying. What a coincidence that this came up the very next day. Was it guilt? Or something else that compelled him to confess. Once again I had the wool pulled over my eyes because I was gullible, loving, kind and giving. That once again I had given in to the con man shuffle of my ex husband. This sweet, funny, big nice guy in a bow tie, is also the source of great suffering and pain, betrayal and loss.

I spoke with my lawyer this evening. It’s true, you can’t trust him. I warned the court this spring, the judge EVERYBODY that this was the issue, if we could just talk to the bank itself and know what is going on, because what he says, can't be trusted! you need proof. For months I pleaded. The judge sided with Justin. Gave him another chance. And here we are.

I’m not angry. I actually feel very sad for Justin. He’s a nice guy. Dishonest and undependable, but a nice guy at heart. A little boy that got wounded by his mother and father at some point long ago, and that wounding is replayed out again and again and again in adulthood, our Mythic Yoga waiting to be played out and witnessed by the Gods as we surrender to our Amor Fati and play the role perfectly as all is as it should be. Such is life, the continual cycles and epic stories of love and betrayal, loss and redemption. I will play it out in my body tomorrow, and tonight i will look up to the stars and dream about it all.

The Mythic Yoga Studio with Sydney Solis: The Wooden Sword - Jewish

The Queen of Bohemia is back in Action

The Queen had a fantastic summer, traveling to Telluride, Pine Ridge Reservation and Montana for work and pleasure. It was all wonderful and rewarding in every possible way. But every once in a while the Queen gets derailed. Call it life or the snare of fate, things can be just so overwhelming that she is not quite sure what to do. This causes great anxiety, but luckily, The Queen falls back on her yoga practice, meditation and stories to give her hope. She reconnects with God after a short lapse of egoic disconnect and bad habits that still linger from 1388 Kilkenny Street and resumes her duties.

So after talking to two bankruptcy lawyers it does seem that I cannot declare bankruptcy. I am stuck with Speer for the time being. If my ex would just sell the darn 31st street house I’d be in much better shape to deal with the screwy loans and upkeep on the properties, which I do find valuable in the long term, but a massive pain in the short run. I’m not the type to believe in hoarding and sitting on a pot of gold. Of course that puts me in a sticky position. But I feel for all the millions of Americans who have financial problems. It can definitely make you sick.

So I can’t declare bankruptcy because I can’t get rid of the income tax on the equity my ex took out to pay off his debts, in my name on the mortgage and loans! Gads! How stupid could I get! I can only say I was in love, and I believed in him, however, he didn’t come through and that’s the most painful part. I put everything I had into it and I didn’t get anything in return. Something I became conscious of from parenting my father as a child and also my choice of men in the past. I take care of them and get little in return.
Also I can’t declare bankruptcy because I could lose my copyrights to my work! Gads! Now that is scary. So I have cut off all spending to the extreme. No more coffees, no more eating out (ok, once a month for special with the kids, you HAVE TO!) Get the hair cut at Super Clips, eat all the food you have left in the house. But not out of fear but out of this is how we should have been living all along. Since the 50s, a recent Wall Street Journal article wrote, it’s all about my property, my own house, my things and stuff. We really don’t need a lot to get by on. The article said that if you own your own home it shows you are not a communist. Well, I would sure like to live with somebody right now, share meals, work in the garden together, share childcare. We should be living collectively, at least have that option if you choose. So I voluntarily now live a life of simplicity. How I wish I could ditch my car. Such an expense! I love riding my moped. I typically buy all my clothing used, and now it’s just cutting out lots of little things. But I am determined to get back on top of things, make my business work, and get financially squared away. I often think of living abroad with my kids. I’ve wanted to do it my whole life and I want my kids to have that opportunity, especially to learn another language. I can do my work from the internet. We sure could live cheaply in Mexico or even Puerto Rico, or maybe hang out in India for a few months before moving on to Thailand or something and do the home school/yoga thing. Wouldn’t that be a hoot!

But like in all the stories she has been reading and telling lately, The Queen has faith in God. Faith in the present moment, and faith in herself. All thing will work out. She gets to live deeply in the present moment when she is rooted in yoga and meditation. She gets to relish being a mother and feel great love and joy for her children – whether it is preparing an Epsom salt bath for her son’s poor flat feet that went through a grueling two-hour football practice, or prepare a nutritious breakfast or lunch, or grow cherry tomatoes just for her daughter who loves them, or she gets back down on her hands and knees and willingly scrubs the kitchen floor and the bathrooms and the whole house because that is what the Queen does, she is always faithful, always present, and always beginning again and the Queen survives and thrives. And sometimes she has to just clean again to get her faith back, because it’s the cleaning out of the fear and negativity that is key. That she is the creator of her whole universe with her heart and thoughts, so she’d better stay positive and with God, because she really doesn’t want any other outcome other than goodness and joy, so that’s all it can possibly be. Goodness and joy, even if so much is coming at you and it seems hopeless. And the house on 1388 Kilkenny Street she will never live in again, for that is the source of the anxiety and fear that occasionally creeps up. And now the Queen is aware of it, she can name it, and she can gently ask it to go away. Even though in reality there is a mouse infestation at my father’s house at 1388 Kilkenny Street. They got into his emergency survival food. There is also a lot of stagnant water in the basement. I begin to wonder if it is a health hazard. I’d love to airlift my father out of there and have him life with us – as I am contemplating getting a house mate and do have an ad on Craigs List at the moment

But now the Queen is clean and jazzed. She has something very special coming up September 2. And her websites are about to be relaunched and updated, and she will be working with middle school students to teach them Mythic Yoga and even put up more You Tube videos for the work. Ah, release. To be in union with the divine and without fear in any situation, that is the task at hand. I hope everybody can find release from their suffering. That is why we do yoga, that is why we tell stories and that is why we love deeply everything around us. It is a grand release.