Reborn, the Queen Hears the Depths and Speaks with the Fish

The Depths have spoken to the Queen. She feels the presence within. It is the world revealed from within. The Queen is reborn anew, as the depths have opened to her and revealed its secrets. The radiance within is beheld with great awe and respect, as it is witnessed in every tree and flower, creature and ray of the sun. All of life is vibrating with the voice from the depths; everything that is becoming is surging into form. What a beautiful realization that is, and there is peace. Great peace, and everything shimmers with the silent voice from the deep, infused with its power and mystery and image. The image of the feather-plumed serpent, The Return of Quetzalcoatl, the return of Durga and Kali. The evolution and revolution of humanity in one big giant yawn as the whole universe is pulled into balance once more and prepares for another great cycle of endings and beginnings ahead. My little Yoga Farm's official name is the Twin Birds Yoga Farm, St. Croix, USVI. In addition to my regular yoga and meditation practice here, I have been juicing a lot and eating from the garden. Spicy mustard greens from the VI Agriculture are blossoming and I have a ton. My first batch I juiced was just too spicy - like drinking wasabi. I held my nose and it all went down. And my colon cleaned out a few minutes later! This time I harvested the outer leaves and added a bunch of apples and mango juice to sweeten it up. My son still thought it was too spicy but I thought of it as a Green Mary, my drink name. Instead of Bloody Mary, get it? I have also been making tons of pesto from the trimmings in the garden, using nutritional flakes instead of parmesan and then topping it on a bit of goat cheddar and a piece of bread of Malba toast before popping it into the toaster oven I got at a garage sale. My son loves it. So does my friend Hariyah, who is in the Storytime Yoga teacher's training. Truly my little yoga herb farm is taking root. As I relish and recognize that I have made my dream come true and that I am living my own authentic life. There is such great deep peace and satisfaction in knowing that and being content. I am deeply present and joyful here, and all fear and worry subside. For a big shift is that sheltered here and unplugged from the insane commercial world, it was easier to cast out that other or critic that always lurked in and haunted the backside of my consciousness. It has been dispelled, left in the U.S. mainland where it belongs with all its self-loathing and sadistic citizens and misogynist magazines.I am the swan in Amsterdam, reclaiming my European style that respects art, nature, culture and philosophy over football and NASCAR. The garden is ever blossoming and more crops will come in the next few months. We OD'd on breadfruit. I gave a lot of it away to the school and there was so much it started rotting on the porch. A lot is frozen. Maybe next year I will try making bread with it, but for now I have some great Breadfruit Salad with Gorgonzola and herbs.  Tried an amazing fruit Tonio called, "Corazon" which tasted like a vanilla custard. He had lovingly protected the giant fruit with lots of seeds like a true heart, and the way held it in his hands it felt sacred indeed. The King came for a visit. That's why it's Twin Birds Farm, for he is my twin bird. He tried with us the Guanabana, or soursop Tonio brought in too. It's become easier and more habitual to eat out of the garden. It's an adjustment, and I do still breakdown and my body revolts and craves salami and cheese, but there is a clarity that comes from eating from the backyard, in rhythm with the moon and earth's cycles. A harmony and center location on the axis of the world tree where every second is revealed as shakti. And I do believe that things will collapse economically, most likely overnight one day soon. Everybody who hasn't been prepared is going to be like a poodle in the bush and have a very hard time. Really it's not about not having food but it's about losing your identity that is wrapped up in a false matrix that is the hard part to leg go. The death of the ego is profound and difficult. Yet I died early. Got it over with. It's not easy to take risks, give up your favorite foods and conveniences and desires, but I got an entire new life instead. It's simply liberating, and I believe I did it because I embraced my dark side. Just read my Facebook posts an you know I fling my shadow out there every day for me to honor and make conscious, lest I fling it out on some poor other soul like vampires usually who are not conscious do.  I have a  new myth emerging from my body. It has been evolving over time, starting with the mermaid that I hoisted up out of the sea after an arduous struggle in a dream years ago. And now here in St. Croix, the healing waters, the sublime ocean sinks in where there was only dry Colorado desert. The fish is there, swiring around the roots of a tree in my body. Tonio brought a fish that Cholo's son caught - a big, tuna-like fish. Cholo had been camping out at Salt River for two weeks prior to Easter. What satisfaction to eat a fish that was caught directly from the sea. It's like the fish spoke to me. I feel it is evolving from out of the watery depths of my body and second chakra. Upward dog pose is now evolved fish pose; something is emerging and evolgin in me. Something new and wonderful. I'm glad I took the risk and died to my old self. That I die every time I sit down to meditation and cut the thinking, cut the ego and merge with the depths. And from those depths I find firm footing on the Mt. Meru that came from the water. Truly our bodies are our subconscious minds, as the body is 75 percent water, and the primordial turtle, fish or makara monster that comes up from those emotions, moving forth from the pelvis, as life calls us forth on the surface, that libido pulsing on and on and on through us in the universe. That divine romance of Shiva and Shakti made sacred union at every moment of creation. The water that existed with only sky came into consciousness and formed on a mountain or a turtle's back. This reptilian instinct, our instinctual, intuitive selves rise out of that watery consciousness, escape the predators from the deep, appear as a bubble entering a dream on dry land as we used our fins and shoulders to lug us to safety. And as we took wing and evolved into birds, we now reunite reunited the bird of the spirit and mind with the frog and fish reptiles of the deep. There is the sacred alchemy. This listening in on the depths and trusting that you know and hear the instructions.  So I am reborn. In taking my retreat I have been taking a memoir writing class  online. What delight to tell my story and revel in poetry and words. I am excited that I will be also having my first art exhibit at the Maria Henle Studio here in St. Croix May 17, 2012 as part of Art Thursday in Christiansted. I've been making collages for years, and my friend Tina Henle, loved them and asked me to do a show at her studio. We have really connected on all things yoga, art, nature and politics. A great partnership is brewing and I'm excited to return to my poetic and artistic roots. It's as if the 9 years are over. I started out with Mythic Yoga and did Storytime Yoga as my children grew. Now they are teenagers, and I'm growing up too - going back to the child I was who wrote and wrote and wrote and make art and practiced yoga, meditated on the depths and reported back about it through her art and poetry. What a satisfaction to declare that "I am a Poet! I am an Artist! I am living my life courageously and on my terms!" My daughter and I attended a poetry mixer in St. Croix. It was wonderful to know poetry is revered here, and among locals. There was an intellectual set in which I read a poem, and my daughter read a poem too. We left before th body set came, as it promised to be racy. But the calibre of talent and passion that emerged from people was astounding, and it was so much fun to mingle with poets and those who love words and literature and art. I loved Especially the political poems bursting from women, as St. Croix is going through economic pains that all feel and the oppression is giving way to freedom. The past Queens of the Fireburn are calling you forth. It's time to make a stand. It's going to be a feminist revolution. I can feel it. The watery depths tell me so. To hell with the banking industry who will take my rental property at the foreclosure sale May 3. My defense is that I was had. It's all a big scam. I say I'm still waiting for my bailout from Ben Bernanke, who failed to help my late husband with a bailout when his business ran into a liquidity problem before he killed himself. Bernanke gave European banks freshly printed up cash by trading dollars with Euros back in September when they had a liquidity crunch of dollars. Why does a U.S. citizen not get this same deal? U.S. citizens don't even have a clue that it happened and what it all means.  Why did McDonalds and Harley Davidson and more get free cash?!?! A Fed audit exposed that. Where is the taxpayer represented in all this? banks win win and taxpayers lose, lose. It's all a scam, a lie, and it's time to resist. Political action is on the agenda for me as I believe that St. Croix should be independent, and I've wanted to leave the U.S. completley for some time now.  I continually write a steady stream of letters to the Avis calling for revolution and people's rights. They publish them to great response. So I am not afraid. Even though the electricity on St. Croix ate my third Mac and I resort now to using an I-Phone and I-Pad to write, I do not waver. I'm merely annoyed. Durga and Kali urge me on to fiercely speak out in the name of women, children, families, truth and justice. Great stuff happening. Stay tuned. The Earth is about to hear from the depths. What else is there for the Queen of Bohemia to do?Because when she spoke with the fish it gave her a new name: For she is reborn as Agent Garbo.